To me, divorce is a tragedy. Family is one of the most important things in this life to have, and to see it get torn apart is devastating to me.  Family is just so important to me, it's really emotional for me when I here of a couple getting a divorce.  In class, we discussed some of the processes of divorce.  Some divorces are legal issues, emotional, economic, community, co-parental, and psychic.  There are tons of reasons people get divorces, and most of those reasons fall under one of those types I listed. We also talked about some of the predictors of divorce.  Some people think it's the only option, some haven't seen their marriage as a healthy marriage, some follow destructive patterns, some start off their relationship with cohabitation, and some just simply marry too young before they are mature enough to handle it all.  The best way to prevent divorce is to be smart about who and how you date.  We talked about the three P's of dating, which include protect, preside, and provide.  For women, these are the things they need to look for in a man.  In dating, you find out if the man has any of these characteristics.  Also, dating is like practice for marriage.  What I mean by that is, when a guy picks up the girl for their date and takes her out, she is under his care, he is her protector for the time they are together.  When he pays for the date, he is showing he can provide for her.  Lastly, him being with her is him presiding.  If a man shows these in dating, then he will show them when you are married as well.  The way the world sees marriage is like a contract, but it is a covenant we make not only with our spouse but also with our Heavenly Father.  It isn't just a piece of paper that the law will recognize as a legal thing, it's more than that.  It's a sacrament.  That's why I find it so sad when I see or hear about a divorce, especially if there are children involved.  I understand that in some cases, divorce is the best option, but it still is a really sad thing.

Have you ever heard of a decision tree?  At the top, the question "Who owns the problem?" is asked.  The three branches are Parents, Children, and shared.  When parents are dealing with issues with their children, they really need to be calm and clear about how they handle it.  Parents need to respond instead of react.  If parents react, the children won't feel very comfortable coming to them with questions or problems they are having.  When we talked about this in class, a scene from a movie crossed my mind.  It's a movie called Bringing Down the House, with Steve Martin and Queen Latifa.  In the scene, Steve Martin's daughter went to a party and got into trouble, and when she got home Steve was furious.  Queen Latifa told him to keep calm and just listen to her and not over-react.  When he did this she said "I have so much more to tell you."  Since he stayed calm and didn't 'react', she felt more comfortable to tell him more.  And I think that goes along great with this topic.  If we respond caring and thoughtfully, our children will have confidence in coming to us with things they need help with.  We need to be active parents, especially in the world we live in today. Being a strong part of our children's lives and being there for them is so important.

In class, we talked about the purposes of parenting.  The surprising thing is, is that parenting is more for the parents than it is for the children.  Some of the things that we listed include things such as: transmit values and traditions, teach our children of God, to practice and develop Godly qualities, to become refined in the parenting process, for us to learn as we teach our children, it is our sacred duty, and we are to prepare our children to survive and thrive in this world.  Most of these things that involve parenting are learning experiences for the parents.  As we teach our children characteristics and principles of the Gospel, we truly learn more about those and it is an opportunity for us to set the example by following them.  In my Family 100 class, my teacher said "Telling isn't teaching."  We cannot just tell our children things and expect them to completely understand and learn, we have to show them what we want them to know by being an example for them. We also talked about parenting in gay marriages.  Children need to have a male and a female influence in their lives, when children have parents of the same sex, they are missing out on learning unique things that heterosexual parents can provide.  In the Family: A Proclamation to the World, it says that children are entitled to have a mother and a father.  I feel like having same sex parents are depriving those children of what they are entitled to have.  Also, the terms 'mother' and 'father' are taken away when there are same sex parents.  Parenting is something special that we are able to do, to bring children into this world and raise them according to the Gospel.